P.S. I Love You

Story of my life, since 2011.

It all started with a mail from the authorities late in our third semester, which required us to do a preliminary registration for the only structured course that we do in the summer holidays. This form required us to fill in six city preferences. It was the decision of a lifetime. Amidst (possibly true) rumours that choices filled in this form make absolutely no sense, there were secret meetings held in every wing in the hostels, on how to fill these choices so as to end up in the same place, preferably away from home (:P) and have the summer of our lifetime.

That was all we heard about our course BITS C221 “Practice School-1”, unarguably the most hyped up course in a BITSian’s life. And just about the time all of us concluded that the PS Division had forgotten about it, we received another ‘root’ mail, stating it was time to fill our preferences. What followed was complete mayhem. This was the first time the preference form was released online; and let me assure you, I have never seen a more @#&$%! – up website in my life! The list was arranged in an alphabetical order, with some 300-odd companies. Apparently all we had to do was fill in the number at which our preference was on the list corresponding to the preference number we wanted in on. All they forgot to mention was that the webpage timed out automatically in 15 minutes flat, and if you refresh the page, all the choices get erased. Worst of all, you couldn’t even ‘save your progress’. So the only choice left was creating a spread sheet, and taking help from other carked souls and type in numbers as they dictate it to you.

In order to end up in the same city as most of other friends, we sat and filled the choices together. This hope of spending the summer together was highly facilitated by the fact that we were in the same CGPA range (for those who are unaware, another famous rumour is that the PS Division sorts students in companies on the basis of their CGPA). In the column demanding us to fill in places where we can find ‘acco’, we ticked in all the cities we had a chance of ending up in (provided PSD sticks to its principles). One of the cities I marked was Delhi, where my dear sister worked.

The first Delhi choice I filled in was at preference number 25, which was pretty much out-of-range, considering the choices I had filled higher up were known to be in my CGPA range, and mostly in ‘cooler’ cities like Bangalore and Mumbai. It was a confirmed fact that girls get PS only in the cities they marked regardless of their CGPA for security reasons. So, not worrying about the outcome, I decided I’ll be the agony aunt to the people who are actually tensed about their PS.

The thing was I was completely unaware of my on-going Shani ki saadhe-saati. PSD is known to follow the most complicated algorithm known to mankind. So, against all odds, I got my PS at Tata Power, Delhi, which was the preference number 26 on my list. The worse news was that even though we were all in the 7.5±.25 range, not more than two people of my wing ended up in the same city, let alone the same station! But we soon found some others reporting in the cities we were in. All people who had their PS in Delhi soon started calculating the probability of meeting in the Metro, depending on their prospective area of accommodation. My PS in charge, to top it all, had a unisex name, and it took a lot of thinking to address her (as we later found out!) in the professional conversations. But as the news of the other PS allotments spread, I thought, my condition wasn’t that bad. At the very least, I had my sister for company. And my PS Station was a well-known place, unlike many others on the list.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. The worst was yet to come.

The day the grievance changes were announced, I got a call from my sister telling me that she got a new job in a certain Jagdalpur, and was soon going to leave Delhi. Well, this meant that I was left without acco, and I had no opportunity to get my PS station changed. I gave in to fate, and decided to live with my cousins in Faridabad. It wasn’t bad, you know, considering staying in Mumbai would also mean I had to travel. There have been days on which I have travelled for a time span longer than what I spend in one week at the company. Most part of my summer was spent in the metro, or in a place which the power suppliers thought was ideal for load shedding at any point in the day.

It could have been very, very bad; in fact, much worse had five new characters not stepped into my life. There was Hero, the guy who could make you smile in the worst time with, as some others put it, his invincible charm. There was Mr Impression, who inspired all of us to work in the ‘lite’ atmosphere of PS1, while teaching us more about the company than the employees would have ever managed. All of you must have heard of mamma’s girls, but we had Auntie’s Girl, with fascinating daily stories of her dearest aunty and her experiences at the Costumer Care. As for Shit Wit, he was easily the most laughed at person, all because of the mystery expression on his face which we still cannot comprehend. And last of all was Lost. I have never seen a person who thinks so frickin’ much before even deciding what to react to the situation! All in all, this was the best I could have asked out of my PS1. Industrial experience will come and go, but this I something no one could ever give me before in my life.

thanks guys!

As I was writing this post, I thought, why such a clichéd title?

I just decided it is what it was meant to be, because P.S., I really love you. 

Dilemma!

Egyptian Mythology says when a person dies, his soul reaches the doors of heaven. To decide whether or not they should be allowed inside, they are asked two questions.

-Morgan Freeman, The Bucket List. 

I've always wondered what would go down once I die. I imagine myself, standing in front of a weird old guy in white robes with a long white beard with white clouds around him and a Visitors' Book in front of him, waiting for a decision. So when I heard Mr. Freeman in the movie, I thought it better to prepare right away the answers to this 'final' examination, than wait for that decisive moment...

Q1. Did you find joy in your life?

This was easy to answer. I picture myself taking a deep breath, and say a single word. 'Yes'.

Well, I do complain a lot about my life. I keep telling everyone how bad it is, how mean life has been. But I never truly hated it. I've had my share of ups and downs, but overall, I think I found joy. A great family and friendships that would make anyone jealous... There were instances when it felt like all the trouble in the world was put in my life, but yes, those were just 'instances'. My life has been jolly good. 

Q2. Did you bring joy to the lives of others?

Ouch. So this is the tricky one, eh? 

First thought: why would he ask me that? Shouldn't he be asking others this question? Rather, shouldn't he be opening my records and reviewing them to see if I have?

Second thought: Maybe he already has. He just wants an honest answer. 

No point lying now...

'See, it is like this...', I begin, 'I've tried the best I could.' Okay, my worst attempt at holding the middle ground.

I can completely imagine the 'it is a dichotomous question' look this bearded guy would give me. Darn. 

So I begin the self-evaluation. I think I was a good child. Responsible enough, I guess, for my parents' comfort. I know I was a good sibling, because I am almost 100% certain they miss me almost as much as I missed them. I assume I am a good co-worker, because most of my project mates didn't have much problem with my way of working. 

That just leaves friendship. To me, it is the purest form of love that exists in the world. Three-quarters of my life's joy is owed to my friends. 

But is it true the other way round?

Sure, my jokes suck.

I try really very hard to hide my jealousy, though I agree I fail at times.

I have this weird tendency to start laughing when I see someone crying.

I expect a lot out of people I call friends, and yes, I am possessive.

But I'm always there to help, if anyone needs me, even if I know I am only making the situation worse. (yeah, that's me :-|)

I've had my share of fun at other's expense, but does that count?

And then... I have broken people's trust. 

Gulp. Oh yes. Yes, I have. But never intentionally, it was always for the greater good, I say. But nothing I say can suppress the guilt now. Nothing at all...

I can hear my heart pounding. I close my eyes, and imagine myself slowly walk away from the golden gates of what I picture to be heaven. I decide I don't want to answer Q.2 right away, after all. 

P.S.: This feels good. Getting free time to write again feels really good.  

Love...?

I have this very good friend here in BITS who is very, very good at physics, but very, very bad at human psychology. Ironically, it is with this friend that I discuss most of the pressing issues about life. And yes, though this friend doesn’t appreciate human behaviour as much as I do, she does manage to give me ideas… Lots of ideas. Like the other day when we were taking time off studies. The topic of discussion that day was whether man would have been better without emotions.

Most of us will agree to the fact that there is no life if there are no emotions. Without emotions, there would be no motivation to live. The whole human civilization would come to a standstill. It is desire that drives our mind and body. The ultimate goal is happiness. Had there been no desire, why would you want to sleep? Why would you want to dress, cry, laugh, celebrate? Moreover, why would we love?

This is where another friend, also involved in the discussion, gave the example of childbirth. A woman gives birth to a child, but she has no emotions whatsoever attached to that little soul. Hours after the birth, she feels hungry, and the nearest thing looking edible is the child. Since there is no attachment, she wouldn’t hesitate a second before consuming her own progeny. Considering the fact that there would be millions of such women all across the world, there would be a million deaths. How will the race continue?

Gross example it is, I agree, but it did end the argument. Later that evening, over dinner, as I drifted into my own world, I again started contemplating. True, emotions can’t be done away with. But imagine life without that small fragment… if there was no one to love, there would be no one to hate. No desire would imply no rat race, no pressure to prove you to the world. Furthermore, no let-downs, no sorrow, no regret… it’s not a bad bet!

I was still chewing over this piece of her mind, when we started talking again. This time, the topic to murder was love. Midway through this discussion, I got so frustrated with trying to make her understand the importance of love in life; I asked her how she defined love.

Her reply was shocking to me at first. “Love is nothing but probably dependence.” I did not understand, so I asked her to elaborate. “Why do you love somebody?” she started. I couldn’t answer. I always thought love was unconditional. “People love only those people whom they need”, she continued when she realised I was too appalled with the reply. “I love my parents because whatever I do my subconscious knows I need them to survive. We love friends because we need somebody to share experiences with. We fall in love because we need somebody to stick to us when the whole world is against us.”

For the first time in my life, I was left speechless. Love was, in my dictionary, the most pure and morally right emotion. This discussion shook the whole foundation.

I’m still pondering over this. Is man really that shallow?

It is probably not for us to decide.  

The Tipping Point

"The Tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend or social behavior
 crosses a threshold, tips and spreads like wildfire."

Okay. This was a long, long break from writing. But now that I have got a temporary relief from tests and department work is relatively lighter, here I am… back again, writing on my favourite topic: Life.

This is not going to be a philosophical post at all. At least I’m trying not to make it one. I’ve had enough troubles and interventions for a lifetime already thanks to too much preaching. So here is a very normal, general post, written just because my blog readership was on a decline.

The last month has been an eventful one. BOSM started with a BANG on 14^th September. And that was about all that happened.

You see, it rained in Pilani. It rained, like it had rained never before. For a week then, it had been a very uncomfortable weather, and everybody wished it rained. And as they say, bhagwan ne hamari sun li! But the problem was that the timing was very wrong.

A bit into flash-back: this year, The Department of Informalz had very big plans, and their execution was going well too. For instance, we had a kickass video, and a new logo, which implied we had to get a new banner made. We had planned a life sized angry birds, which was becoming the hot topic of discussion not only among BITSians, but also among other institutes across the country. It had been raining occasionally in the previous week, but those were the normal Pilani spells of rain: lasting five minutes maximum. As one of my very good friends here said, “Do not worry people! The clouds will make way for an Awesome BOSM!!!” I so hoped he was right.

But the clouds apparently had something completely different in mind. It rained till the water-resistant tents gave in. it rained till the whole of GymG was filled with knee-deep water. All the planning for the fest drowned even before we could put the new department banner up. Anyways, as they say, it happens. Shit happens.

To anybody who’s reading this, the situation would sound like the end of the fun world that once existed. At that instant, with washed out hopes and no chance of getting to do any of the planned stuff, our opinion was not much different.

But all this was till that moment when one of those around me accidentally splashed water on someone. All of a sudden, the hope was back. First two, then four, and then everyone else was out of the so-called water-proof shelter into the rain… from breaking a senior’s trust in the Jump of Trust, to watching our co-ords make the Leap(or rather, Fall) of Faith, from boat races to eating hot, sizzling frankies, everything seemed to fall into place. Yes, we had found the Tipping Point.

Needless to say, apart from the NDTV coverage, and dry last day of BOSM on which we conducted some events, we did not have a very successful BOSM 2K11. But it is definitely one of those fests I would always remember, not for its grandeur and awesomeness, but for teaching me the fundamentals of life: how small things make a BIG difference.

 Sir Richard Bach once said: “the simplest things are often the truest.”

All I can add now is:

So true, so true.

P.S. this ended up being a little philosophical too. :P

Pessimism, is it?

Anybody who claims to know me as a person would say I’m like the most negative person they have encountered in their lives. I wouldn’t completely deny that fact. It comes naturally to me.

You see, I am a student of Electronics and Instrumentation Engineering. This might not sound wrong. But trust me, telling anybody you are an EnI student is probably the best way to mock yourself around, at least in BITS. The statement that you get to hear (that’s after they are done laughing) is, “yaar, Mechanical le liya hota!!” Yup, you got it right. It hurts. Many times, it also forces you to rethink your decision. “Was I foolish?” is one question that routinely troubles many of those in a situation like me. The worst is when your professors join the other people’s league… they either crack right-on-target jokes, or worst still, sympathise.

Somehow, this is not something that pisses me off anymore. The worst is being the second- best friend for someone. And you feel sorry for yourself in case the person in consideration is somebody you consider a very, very good friend. There is not one person in the institute who considers me their best friend… I am the back-up option for so many people that introspection leads me to cogitate that there’s a flaw in my social behaviour. The most asphyxiating situation arises when your so-called hangout group comprises BFFs… It’s like being caught in a trap. Whatever you talk doesn’t hold importance, whatever you say is of zero concern, and people around you think you are having a really good time, and technically, you are left with no choice but carry on because you have no life beyond this group.

I understand why people call man a social animal. There are moments when you just feel like escaping from the scene, evaporate into thin air… At times, it feels as if your importance at that point of time is not much more than that of a spider in the far corner of your room… it feels nobody would even notice if you suddenly disappeared, and that is partially true. There are times when you feel so lonely that you hide in a corner and cry. It is really frustrating to always be the one who listens. They call me pessimistic, but they don’t realise I have a right to be that. When your opinions don’t matter, when the only job you have is to work out ways to be heard, and try to fit somehow into the conversation, it gets suffocating. And when you try and complain, those around you think you have an attention seeking attitude. Sympathy is not what anybody desires. What each one of us needs is love.

Whatever anybody says, I think I have a whole bunch of reasons of being pessimistic. So does everybody else. It is just the way you handle your life.

Life teaches lessons. It is the way you interpret them that really makes all the difference. I made a mistake way back. And its consequences are not all good.

P.S.: I have promises to keep. No more public display of pessimism after this.

New Experiences...

Entry as second year students to an engineering college is something that fascinates everybody. After all, it is a person’s first year as a senior, and the thirst to ‘interact’ with juniors is unquenchable. And in BITS- Pilani, Rajasthan, interactions become even more important since everything is managed by students, and fresh ideas are what everyone requires.

this so explains the current state of my life..

All through my first year I used to be charmed by the idea of recruitments. Just thinking about searching twelve- thirteen like-minded people in a whole batch of eight hundred was enough to enthral me. We were always told that every department has its own requirements, and it is our duty to get the best suited people. The thought of recruiting the wrong people caused maximum disorientation. I used to think I would never be able to forgive myself in case I recruited the wrong type of juniors to the department!

With all this in mind, we started the new academic year with the hope of having the time of our lives. It took just days for us to understand the Rule number one of being a senior: For all second year students, their immediate junior batch is the dumbest set of people they have ever met.

Yeah, this rule is very true. When to what was a very thought of question, you get the most obnoxious answer you could have expected (or rather, not expected at all) is the time you realise not everyone who comes to premiere institutes of the country is not level-headed… With an average of two face palms per person during the last month, I assume you’ll get my point.

Interactions have been a great learning experience. I learnt that not everyone who likes Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber is necessarily dumb. I learnt Rakhi Sawant is famous because she popularized silicon in the country (!). I picked up that it you and your best friends can have really conflicting views on the same person. When people say they listen to hard rock and heavy metal, they generally mean Linkin Park. There are people who think Friday is fantabulous and a highly philosophical vocal. I learnt it is always better to store the names of all juniors in a separate group in your contacts, because calling the wrong people, like M. Pharm. Students can lead to utmost abashment. I also learnt that if interactions continue for a longer time than you anticipated initially, you run out of questions. You can never be well prepared for such stuff. And that the best way to scare a junior is to stare at them and ask, “Do you find me scary?”

This first month of the brand new semester has been pretty eventful. I made another failed attempt to get recruited to my favourite club at BITS. Conclusions from this experience say that some things are fated not to happen. A misunderstanding with close friends due to reasons none of us can remember, being voted the second- most scariest senior in the hostel, playing an awesome game of life-sized Scotland Yard organized by the juniors, conducting a treasure hunt for freshmen, looking at their awed expressions and feeling your chest swell with pride, two trips in seven days with your buddies, taking notes in a technical Report Writing class with a hope that it will help you with interactions, and losing weight at an exponential rate are some of those experiences which only college life can boast of. I am very sure these four years of my life are going to be among the best ever to pass.

Life is splendid. Some people just fail to acknowledge its beauty.

It's WAR!

haha... LOL!

What is that one thing that has become a common headache to all the bosses around the world?

Angry Birds.

The game is something you do not need introduction to. It is a game with the simplest of objectives one could think of; the birds are desperate to retrieve their eggs, which were stolen by a group of Evil Pigs. The birds decide to have an all-out attack on the various structures where the Pigs are hiding, destroy the pigs, and claim the Eggs. The birds are flightless, and the player has to force them towards the structure using a slingshot, on which these birds jump rather excitedly…

The game was launched in December 2009, by the Finland-based mobile app powerhouse Rovio, for Apple’s iOS. The whole concept started off when senior Game designer, Jaakko Iisalo submitted his design of very angry looking birds for the new app the company was developing, in March 2009. As the concept developed, the team realized that Angry Birds needed some enemy. And guess what, the news of Swine Flu in 2009 initiated the idea of Pigs as the villains for the game!

Who would have thought this game would become such a phenomenon? It is 2011, just a year and a half after the launch, and the company has already sold 12 million (!) of the game! And as all of us will agree, that is just the legal number. I don’t even want to think how many of us have the pirated versions and the cracks downloaded via torrents or DC!! The Wikipedia page on Angry Birds declares it ‘one of the most mainstream games out right now’.

Looking at the success charts of the app, Rovio also released Angry Birds Android app and the PC version too (phew!). The office hours are now no longer boring, and the bosses too are less angry. Who would want to waste energy shouting or sulking, when you can simply release your pent up frustration on a group of Ugly green Pigs troubling our cute little (and really angry) birds? The game was intended to be easy to comprehend, and yet interesting enough to captivate every person playing it. And as we can all see, the team succeeded. What a bliss it is, watching the small birds fight their way to get back their beloved eggs? The game does not require skill, nor does it require any sort of planning as do many other games in the same fame league that it is in now. No wonder it has become such a wave in such a short time!

I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow, I see a +2 student practicing projectile motion with angry birds (:P). It would be awesome watching people sitting with rulers measuring all the distances on their computer screens… the other thing I can imagine is military practicing aiming in a virtual reality version of angry birds! Imagination is running wild… very wild. But as they say, everything starts with an idea, doesn’t it?

Latest to fall into the vicious trap of the birds and pigs are the housewives! Those boring days of solitude spent alone at home are now shared with the over destructive birds… It is fun watching mum and dad play angry birds; the excitement in their eyes, watching that twinkle that had gone missing due to something or the other is priceless… but once they are stuck, it is very difficult to get them moving! And now the game has become so famous, that recent cartoons on the Facebook/Google plus squabble are using the angry birds’ idea too! It is hilarious, the ideas people come up with… human brain is just brilliant!

I was talking about this!

 Rovio’s statistics say that people across the world spend a hundred million hours a day (!) playing angry birds! Commendable, isn’t it? It really shocks me how much time we can spend on things we get addicted to. This drives me into deep thought about human behaviour, but I am quickly, very quickly broken out of it, just as my brother announces he has got a gen mobile game version of angry birds! I’m seriously hoping I manage to convince him to *send via Bluetooth*! :D

Who can stop playing when the yellow bird shouts “oye hoye!” as you sling it into the air?! Not me, for sure…