Monday, 7 November 2011


I have this very good friend here in BITS who is very, very good at physics, but very, very bad at human psychology. Ironically, it is with this friend that I discuss most of the pressing issues about life. And yes, though this friend doesn’t appreciate human behaviour as much as I do, she does manage to give me ideas… Lots of ideas. Like the other day when we were taking time off studies. The topic of discussion that day was whether man would have been better without emotions.

Most of us will agree to the fact that there is no life if there are no emotions. Without emotions, there would be no motivation to live. The whole human civilization would come to a standstill. It is desire that drives our mind and body. The ultimate goal is happiness. Had there been no desire, why would you want to sleep? Why would you want to dress, cry, laugh, celebrate? Moreover, why would we love?

This is where another friend, also involved in the discussion, gave the example of childbirth. A woman gives birth to a child, but she has no emotions whatsoever attached to that little soul. Hours after the birth, she feels hungry, and the nearest thing looking edible is the child. Since there is no attachment, she wouldn’t hesitate a second before consuming her own progeny. Considering the fact that there would be millions of such women all across the world, there would be a million deaths. How will the race continue?

Gross example it is, I agree, but it did end the argument. Later that evening, over dinner, as I drifted into my own world, I again started contemplating. True, emotions can’t be done away with. But imagine life without that small fragment… if there was no one to love, there would be no one to hate. No desire would imply no rat race, no pressure to prove you to the world. Furthermore, no let-downs, no sorrow, no regret… it’s not a bad bet!

I was still chewing over this piece of her mind, when we started talking again. This time, the topic to murder was love. Midway through this discussion, I got so frustrated with trying to make her understand the importance of love in life; I asked her how she defined love.

Her reply was shocking to me at first. “Love is nothing but probably dependence.” I did not understand, so I asked her to elaborate. “Why do you love somebody?” she started. I couldn’t answer. I always thought love was unconditional. “People love only those people whom they need”, she continued when she realised I was too appalled with the reply. “I love my parents because whatever I do my subconscious knows I need them to survive. We love friends because we need somebody to share experiences with. We fall in love because we need somebody to stick to us when the whole world is against us.”

For the first time in my life, I was left speechless. Love was, in my dictionary, the most pure and morally right emotion. This discussion shook the whole foundation.

I’m still pondering over this. Is man really that shallow?

It is probably not for us to decide.  


  1. Pretty thought provoking post. I disagree with you on several counts here:

    A person loves his friends because he's comfortable in their company; a person loves his parents because they "care" for him and he "cares for them"; a person falls in love because he loves certain characteristics of that person. There are various other emotions interspersed with every one of these situations, I don't think man deserves to be called shallow! It might become a dependence in extreme cases such as "the world turning against you", but otherwise, its a matter of enjoying the other person's company.
    Also, love can refer to inanimate things as well. How do you define a person's love for music? (Its definitely not need!) How do you define a man's passion for work/travel? These things probably indicate that love IS a pure and morally right emotion.

  2. agreed... this is just one point of view though. it is good to look at the world from different perspectives at times.

  3. Interesting thought. I ponder upon such things often. Sometimes I find myself incapable of loving someone without seeing a benefit in return.

    What is love? Verb or noun? emotion or state of mind? How do you measure it?

    Can you imagine love without possessiveness? guilt? conscience?

    Do you think Laden knew what love is?

    TanT, so many thoughts... even i feel like blogging about it now :P

  4. One day before the Viva I read this n now Im thinking about everything Except the Viva subject damn uu :P

  5. i guess, i dont know u personally but i did come across ur article and there was something i wanted to share. U said that one loves their parents because they need them. Have u ever thought the other way round??? Y do u think parents have their children? They dont need them! If they save the money they will end up spending on the child, they will easily afford some1 to take care when they r old! Now this is a case of pure unconditional love! Hope u get my point. Thank you.